Tag: marvel

myadamantiumheart:

steve and bucky embracing the ‘old man’ jokes as a new form of talking shit

steve roundhouse kicks someone in the face, “oh jiminy, my hip” in a ridiculous old person voice

bucky punches someone in the face, yells “get off my lawn”

steve yelling “where’s my metamucil and my word jumbles” in the mornings

bucky asking the guy at the movie theater if he can get a senior citizen discount because he’s like 96 goddamn years old and he’s “not getting any younger here waiting for you to shut your jaw, young man”

calling villains ‘young whippersnappers’ and shaking their heads talking about how they had to ‘walk uphill both ways in a blizzard to the battles with villains back in our day’ 

bucky smirking and offering to go get steve’s cane for him when he goes to leave the table, steve offering to go get bucky more depends from the drugstore and leaving a walker at the foot of the bed

that one time bucky got tony to help him replace all of steve’s shoes with orthopedic trainers and then it turns out steve actually liked them because they were really comfortable

zeeewa:

iridescent-nonreality:

zeeewa:

steve rogers/skimpy shorts otp for life tbh

“Tiiiiiiiime to jog!”

Tony perked up when he heard Steve’s voice behind him, but scowled playfully when the actual words registered. He turned slightly, intending to deliver a cutting line and send the giant man-puppy off on his run. “I never agreed to…”

Steve was in a white shirt.

A VERY TIGHT white shirt, which made no attempt to actually hide anything.

God, that man had the shoulder-waist ratio of a fucking Dorito, what the hell?

Tony’s eyes tracked down the soldier’s torso, very much appreciating the shirt and for a moment he was almost tempted to go for a run with Steve.

Then he saw the shorts.

The tiny, dick-hugging, red-white-and-blue shorts.

Tony could feel a blush racing all the way to the tips of his ears but he didn’t care, because seriously how huge was Steve’s cock anyway—

No, no run was happening, now or ever, because now Tony Jr was standing at attention and ready to salute the flag. Shit. Shit. Tony needed a suave and debonair escape.

“Um, NOPE, BYE,” he blurted, fleeing his workbench and heading for the door, careful to keep his hips pointed firmly away from the paragon of gorgeous evil behind him.

Wait. That wasn’t very suave. Or debonair. “Not dealing with that shit, peace out!” he tried, flinging up two peace signs and accidentally punching the doorway.

He could swear he heard Steve cracking up behind him.

I POSTED THIS LIKE TEN SECONDS AGO, YOU AMAZING HUMAN BEING